Hey everyone :)

Okay well today was kind of a suckish day for me :(. Like I just don’t understand why some people just say hurtful things sometimes, I wonder do they do it on purpose? Because they don’t like me? Like I always always want to be there for anyone who needs me, I really love helping people… I like when others feel happy. I try my best, but its like even when I do that people still hurt me. Which won’t ever harm my efforts to help them, I hope. I just felt hurt a lot, because like one of my favourite teachers, was saying how he can’t have any social life outside of school, but that made me think, is it because I am not trustworthy? Is it because I am assumed to do something wrong? Am I a bad kid? What about after graduation, then can I have contact. I mean its simple to me, you know a lot of your teachers if you stay at the same school for like 6 years and then they just dump you off? I know some of my teachers wouldn’t do that… I HOPE. That might make me feel heartbroken…. Like I don’t know how to explain it, you know them for so long…. How can you not become attached? I know I want to become a teacher, but I would always want to be there for my students….! And if they ever needed me outside of school for something like, important, I wouldn’t even hesitate to think about it. Because I would actually care, it wouldn’t just be a job. I hate when people have that kind of mindset, that its just a job. No its not, when you apply and work at that job you should care about all of your co workers and stuff too and not just money or yourself. And like one of my friends, totally ignores me at school. Its like I am a no one, I always offer to help this person in anyway I can. I really do want to help this person, but I am constantly blown off. I want to be there! Like this person totally ignored me this morning :(. I was talking to this person and then they just walked away, why do some people do that? I don’t understand… Like it makes me upset, because people are just acting kind of like… I don’t want to say jerks but like not so nice lately. And I mean I really want to be there for each and everyone one of them even if they hate me or dislike me. I know its very hard right now, because I am hurting. I try and help people because I love doing stuff for them, but then some just turn their backs and choose not to do the same or actually say negative things or do negative things to me…. ARGH. Besides this friend and this teachers comment, which really I will choose to slightly ignore because hes not the type of person to say something like that. Well he doesn’t usually, I mean he usually cares about me rather than causes me problems. Anyway haha, other than that my day was good. But that whole breaching of trust just made me feel BLAH for a big part of the day. And then some people commented on my status and made me feel better. I would like to give a shout out to Ashley and Francesca, who made me feel mostly better, thanks guys 🙂 Anyways I have a chemistry project to do, Talk to you guys tonight hopefully!!

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